Dad Jokes from the Horseheads Free Library Patrons!

In honor of Father’s day for the month of June we at the Horseheads Library asked our Patrons for funny DAD Jokes. If you gave us a good joke, we gave you a little prize. Below is a list we compiled of all the jokes we heard this month. Some were old as time, some were new, and some were made up and didn’t make sense. We hope you enjoy, groan, sigh, and hopefully laugh at this list from our very funny patrons.

What did the 0 say to the 8?  — Nice Belt!

I had a good Dad joke about memory, but I forgot it.

I have a horse and I named it Mayo…and sometimes Mayo Neighs……

What’s the difference between broccoli and boogers? —- Kids won’t eat broccoli

What did the old pirate say on his birthday? —-Ay Matey…….(I’m 80)…..

Why didn’t the Dad go to the silent movie? Because it wasn’t a loud……(allowed)

Why do cats make horrible storytellers? Because they only have one tail

Horse walked into a bar…and the bartender says Why the long face?……..

Did you hear about the man who was attacked by a Shark? The shark ate the whole left side of him…It’s ok though, HE’S ALL RIGHT!!!!

Where do all the Dad jokes come from? —— The DAD-A base….(Database)

How much does a roof cost? Nothing it’s on the house!

I stopped eating marshmallows, nuts, chocolate, and ice cream…wow what a Rocky Road(10 yr old child)

What do you call a line of bunnies hopping backwards?— A receiting Hair line….

What did the Dad Buffalo say to his son when he went to college? — Bi-son

I could tell you a joke about pizza… but it might be too cheesy

I could tell you a joke about an airplane…but it might fly over your head

Did you hear about the 2 robbers who stole a calander? –They both got 6 months

Why does Dad take an extra pair of socks to go golfing?—In case he gets a Hole in One!

What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?—- Swimming Trunks!

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?— ‘ell if I know…(Eliph-I-Know)

I only know 25 letters of the alphabet, I don’t know why……(Y)……

I’m worried about the calendar…It’s days are numbered.

How does the moon cut his hair? —He Clips it….(

What do you call an American Bee?— USB…

What do you call a cute door? – Adorable…

Thanks to all the folks in Horseheads who made us laugh! Remember to use your local library…just like dead batteries…our items can go home with you FREE OF CHARGE!!!!